So, I got some good and bad news from my thyroid specialist today.
She thinks I'm at optimal levels in my thyroid treatment. I'm inclined to believe her - I looked at my T3, FT3, T4, and TSH and they all looked great. Truthfully, I feel good too. A lot of my peskiest thyroid symptoms - brain fog, aches and pains, hands falling asleep when I'm sleeping - have all abated in the last several months.
So that's good. Yay.
There's just one problem:
I've been gaining and losing the same 4 pounds for the last several months. I didn't forget about this blog; I just felt like a huge fucking failure because after I saw the other side of that 200 mark, I never saw it again. I've been bouncing in the 203-207 range, and that's with more food, less food, more exercise, less exercise, etc. Pretty much any adjustment I could make to my calorie intakes and exercise I have made, hoping to see some real movement.
Now, I haven't religiously stuck to weight watchers tracking 24/7, and that's not good. But I certainly haven't been binging or doing anything crazy.
I feel broken. I walk 6-8 miles a day. Most days I do some elliptical or swimming too. And my calories are almost always under 1700. And still I don't lose.
I feel broken and ashamed. I want this to work, but it just doesn't. I want to be able to eat things in moderation, and weigh a nice healthy weight. But it just doesn't happen for me.
So...where does that leave me?
My doctor wants me to give up gluten. She thinks my body might be reacting to it and holding onto weight. She said she's seen really good results in people who have given it up. I know in the past I've done really well on low carb, but it's just a lifestyle I particularly enjoy. The steak I can handle, but giving up delicious bagels and naan...sigh.
She's not insisting I go full low carb, but I'm wondering if I might want to do it anyway. Gluten free and low-ish carb. Maybe something like paleo, because I do love fruit.
I'm leaving for the Middle East this weekend, and eating low carb or gluten free is nearly impossible there, so I'm just going to eat normally for the next week. During that time I'll ponder what I should do, and decide on either just gluten free or a modified low carb plan. Tonight I eat Indian food, complete with hot naan. I'll miss it.